Zazen - Kundalini (Enlightenment)

Hey guys. I just wanna share with you my Zazen Kundalini (Enlightenment) audio. I had a hard time looking  for this so I thought I might help you guys if I share this with you. You can download the complete Album for Enlightenment and Canyons of Light by Zazen including Lakshmi Series talks by Rama ~ Dr. Frederick Lenz here

Cheers! =)


I want to stay, stay in love with you. But if ever you decide to go on your own, I won't stop you. It's a commitment. I want to spend my life here loving a special soul. And if you go, I will move on, and I can't promise you to go back in your arms. I can't stay in a place where I waste my time and love for no one. I want to make this life special, memorable and meaningful. And I want to share my everything with you. 

For me, love is still my destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone; we find it with another. And love is my inspiration to live in this lifetime.

We can love a thousand times but you choose to be with the person you want to spend your life and days with. Love is not perfect, so as life. But it's up to us to be in a harmonious relationship and fight the hardship together as one. We have to sacrifice for the happiness of both. And we need to compromise as well. If you feel that he/she is the right person for you, you have to take care of your future together and not as a single person. It's the same thing as how you accept hardships in your everyday life. But you are fighting because you know a cloud has always a silver lining. 


I feel the need to write about my thoughts. The meditation session yesterday gave me a whole lotta messed up realizations.

I'm still determined to be alone, and still mean like forever. It's easy to live a normal convenient life rather than to live with such complexities about relationship and misunderstandings between people. As long as you know the true meaning of living. 

But if God really has plans for me, then what a human like me could do is accept the responsibility and live a much (preferable) good life. Of course, we all have a choice. I know how it is to be living, alone. But if with a partner, one that is especially assigned for me to take care, to nurture, that, I could not fathom yet.  

I feel, not think

I think I want to be alone, to live alone, forever. I can stay like this for the rest of my life. Calm, peaceful, nothing to worry about, contented. I don't even think of getting a partner in life. I don't need a partner. My mind has been telling me. Why is everyone looking forward to having someone by their side? Are we programmed to have that kind of emotional neediness? All my life I've been wasting my time dreaming about happy marriage. Am I destined to get married? Or do we really even have destiny? Perhaps we only think we need a partner just to fulfill that responsibility given to us by our creator. That we need to go to the world and multiply. Outside of sex, there's only commitment, and nothing else. And after that, can we really get that lawful feeling of satisfaction and contentment that we've been dying to feel eversince the world began? Not to mention that eternal bliss. But I'm contented now. I know I'm in the safe zone. But it's up to each and everyone's predicament. I so don't care, for now.

I realized the things I've written here is now contrary to what I've written previously about soulmates. ~


Today, everything is still spinning. But not as intense as yesterday. But it only happened after work, specifically during dinner. I still keep on listening to zazen. Hope the songs are not the reason for all of these.

I feel like I'm going to fall asleep soon. Everything appears more colored, but I can't let my eyes focus to one place. My eyes keep moving, looking for only God knows what. I'll be joining the meditation session later. I wish everything will go back to normal. Coz I don't like the feeling, I even hate it. I don't understand what's happening.

F'ed Up Feeling

Last night my whole world was spinning. I've read something about grounding and I tried it for the first time. I pictured out my veins rooting to the ground, deeper and deeper. I even imagined the 5 layers of soils (where I learned from my geo experiences). Deeper and deeper to the hardest soil and my roots are holding on to the hardest soil/rock 40 meters below the ground. I felt that I was still floating but attached to the ground. I felt like a kite and somebody was controlling me down there. I don't wanna be floating in the dark. I think I'm going nowhere. The feeling of elation feels good but I'm feeling lost. After I finished with the "grounding," I felt terrible. I turned to my right side and the whole room was spinning. I tried to close my eyes and it was still spinning. The feeling is just fucking consuming! Though I wasn't so sure if it was because of the grounding or just anemia.  

Jan. 25, 2014 11:09AM

Sometimes it’s hard to put faith in someone especially if both are non-committal. I was trying hard to be patient and to look on the brighter side. This made a big change in my being already. I’m not just talking about being patient with people but also with the day to day activities and tasks. Yes, it helps sometimes. Being busy and thinking about other things and engaging into something that you have a passion for. But time comes that you’re experiencing a low spirit.  It happened to each and every one of us, the occurrence of some moments of isolation. 

The universe is never calm. It always moves to a rhythm. I can feel it, and I can hear it. I want to feel the universe through passionate lovemaking. I don’t know if that’s even possible. It’s like dancing with eyes closed and in a trance. 

My journey through Meditation

I've always wanted to try meditation but then I was skeptical coz I know my mind wanders all the time. It was introduced to me 6 years ago by a friend's Mom. Sometimes, when I visit my friend's house, my friend will always say we have to keep our voices low coz her mom was meditating. It piqued my interest that time. Her mom does yoga and she's definitely a vegan! But I've noticed that eventhough her mom meditates a lot, I didn't see much happiness in her face.  So it made me wonder what meditation can do to people. 

There are lots of kinds of meditation. So far I've tried pranayama and candle meditation, wherein you have to gaze at a candle flame and focus all your attention to the candle. The first time I tried, I often get teary eyed. I felt that my eyes were burning. I wasn't able to concentrate coz of the uncomfortable burning sensation in my eyes. Then after a few minutes, I felt something going on. I gazed at the candle without blinking my eyes. I felt the flame flowing though my body. It was a different kind of feeling. I was feeling weaker, or stronger, I wasn't even sure. Thoughts come, and then disappear. 30 minutes later, I was asked to close my eyes and lie down. I saw different colors and a light, at the center of my vision. I guess the aim of the candle meditation is to concentrate externally, to the feeling, focus on what you're eyes can see. 

My favorite is the pyramid meditation. It mainly focuses on your breathing. So, you have to direct everything internally. The inflow and the outflow. This way of meditation is more efficient for me. 

Meditation did a lot of great things to me. It made me become more disciplined, more focused. I feel more comfortable with everyone. I've become more aware of the emotions I've been feeling and to the things that are happening around me. I stopped worrying and I started living life to the fullest without having inhibitions. 

To be continued...


Have you lost touch of reality? What is reality? How can you say you're living?

I desire to experience full joy of living, discover new things, discover and see the world, people, connect with them, understand them, interact with them. I want pleasant surprises, good life. I want to be in a convenient world. I also want power, control.

I felt that I existed billions of years ago. I can feel it, its strong, and calm at the same time. But I know I was just sleeping, peacefully, lullabied. No one woke me up. Then someone had the courage to wake me up and so I came to this world, this era, this generation. I feel that I'm destined to have this kind of thinking, this race, the way I react to things. And when I go deeper, I wonder if I'm also like this if I woke up million years ago. So I tried to internalize, reflect, meditate, and I still see myself like what I am right now. No one had been to the past, but I can feel it. I had more thoughts like this when I was younger. Then I tried to talk to my friends about it but no one seemed to understand. So, I stopped welcoming thoughts. I lost the connection to the universe. And now, I can barely open myself to feel the universe again. That's why I lost touch of reality. It became a taboo.

Do dreams have meanings?

I had a dream, like minutes ago. I was inside a car, passenger seat. I didnt see who the driver was. Then I saw something in the sky. It was a glider, about to crash, smoke, spinning, fast, and it was going towards my direction. I wanted to escape, get out of the car. I attempted. But I woke up. Do dreams have meanings?